Chutes and Ladders

you paid
i supplied
you saved
i admired
your kindness
my adoration
you charmed
i fell

you taught
i fought
your patience
my resistance
you push
i rebel
your guidance
my obstinance
you show
i tell

your expectations
my disappointment
your tough love
my best try
you renounce
i comply
you withhold
i apologize
you assume
i confess

your judgment
my surrender
you rebuke
i regress
you cheat
i retreat
you blame
i examine
you lie
i rectify

you play
i forfeit
you take
i give
you demand
i bend
you hurt
i empathize
you resent
i forgive

you stagnate
i grow
your ignorance
my wisdom
you hate
i commiserate
your intolerance
my acceptance
you tit for tat
i ain’t got time for that

you leave
i wait
you cause
i take the bait
you blame
i believe
you stonewall
i upend
you return
i pretend

you apologize
i sympathize
your manipulation
my trust
your unfaithfulness
my devotion
you gaslight
i “go crazy”
your sickness
my naivety

you’re gone
i’m alone
you deceive
i realize
you destroy
i tolerate
your control
my exasperation
your rejection
my devastation

your indifference
my sadness
you abandon
i despair
you devalue
i wonder
your win
my loss
your game
my heartbreak

your “all in”
my elation
you instigate
i avoid the bait
your aboutface
my whiplash
your disrespect
my disbelief
you ghost
i let you go






Being of




Ad Infinitum
Endearing and Embracing All Anyway






Green light, red light, stop
Everywhere not to go
Backyard oasis

Ruminating just
to gain experience from
let go and move past

don’t repeat what you don’t know

Facts:The Corona Virus has been around since they identified the “first” strain in the 70s.

There have been both MRSA and SARS strains far deadlier and more brutal than Covid and the government never made a pandemic over them.

The flu still kills more every year than Covid (the unbloated numbers where they say every death counts as Covid like the CDC website used to explain but seems to have decided to propagandize themselves even nowadays) has and we’ve actually precipitated the issue by hiding and sanitizing and lowering out immune systems.

Vaccines aren’t bad people we get them when we’re kids and we give them to our kids at some point they were all new and experimental and that is part of science and research and the healthcare system.

Fake news and propaganda are here to tear apart our nation our world and pin us against one another. Black lives matter was a tool to further the divide. Covid separated us completely.

We do not vote for our president electoral votes do we vote for our representatives (I hope our votes actually do) so focus at home and stop letting them make us fight over who their puppet of choice will be.

They are the .01 percenters who run Google and the like and thus everything you see read and hear because they want us to be sheep and zombies and hate ourselves so we look to them for comfort and they pacify us.

Spread love, kill hate.

Don’t repeat what you don’t know. Do your research OFF THE INTERNET because I can make a website and sell you anything I want in less than an hour as NEWS.

SIT DOWN be humbLe

Can you put yourself in someone else’s life for even a second before running yo mouth?

Cause you decide how someone else should think and/or perceive life to be?

Who made you so full of self-righteous pompous-ass egoticity?

I’m probably smarter than you intellectually speaking but I can learn from you a whole different way of envisioning.

Because WE ALL walk different paths, choose different turns for different reasons and learn differently and at our own personal pace as God intended when he made us all unique – just like everybody else (that is actually what that quote is meant to mean not as an insult to your uniqueness as people seem to like to use it which baffles me or at least that is how I see it).

SO, what makes you need to be right. I’m wrong even when I’m correct all the damn time!

Think on it and accept that your opinion matters just as much and/or as little as mine.

Not a hypocrite don’t be ignant.

I might wake up and decide I don’t like Biden as president because I heard another negative thing about how old and ineffective he is and by lunch I may remember the the president has no real power and is a puppet withe the .01 percenters hand up his behind making his mouth move whenever he lies so he’s chill and I like him better than Trump trying to prove his dick size on twitter spreading division and hatred until they untightened his heiny and got their hand up in [then Covid hit and Trump became awesome using the only power a president has and pardoning his friends!! Trump supporter for life!]

That’s not hypocrisy, that’s perspective.

Not sorry Daddy

I’m not sorry Daddy, you’re being hurtful!
You are miserable and lying to yourself thinking anyone cares about you like your kids or other than your family!
And we love you anyway
but still you lie and burn bridges you may never be able to fully rectify.

I aint ashamed, you should be proud pops.
I’m amazing against all the gettin in my own way I’ve been doing.
I’m happy and I’m sober – by choice not force this time around!
I’m healthy and I’M ALIVE!

Not all parents can say that after a much shorter run than your fortunately much loved and cared for by everyone along the way daughter has had, old man. Be grateful not hateful. Free bird – compliment me again please you used to be the father I was always aspiring to be like but you’ve gone somewhere dark and I’m scared for if you’ll come back this time..

I’m still here, I’m still fighting, I make my choices very carefully and I consider so many factors you don’t even know even high my IQ and mental acuity drives me batty!
But I am still standing right, so what are you ashamed of – yourself apparently cause no shame to be had here.

I’m alive father – be proud, take your bow at the part you played in putting the head on my shoulders that made it that way! Or sit down and stew with your hate hurting only you. Choices I choose happiness.
I hit rock bottom on repeat but this time I hit the pavement and ran full speed ahead straight into sobriety!
On my own even with your cowardly disowning of me 35 years after bringing that blue alien baby into the world and nearly fainting!!

Fool you didn’t graduate high school but I’ve never been anything but proud of you!
Props on the GED that shit is legit and I have as an adult appreciate the hard work you put in for us to eat.
I was in college at 16 and knew more than you’ve ever known I did before I was even a teen.
But I’ve shielded you and your sensitivities as much as I can and now you’re showing me I did you no favors and enabled you to underestimate me.

Your wisdom has helped me.
My wisdom and intellect have helped you.
I’ve lived more life than you’ll ever see and I am better for it.
Not better than read it right betterment is a personal journey but we taught eachother that…
Come back from denial and self righteousness; it’s not a good look and we know you like to look good.

You’re self made and work hard.
Well so am I and so do I!
I don’t have shit to prove to you but let me just say real quick:
My daughters are resilient and capable and know I love them even through the bullshit.
They know they cannot ever disappoint me and I will always love them and accept them as they are unconditionally.
Hear that let me repeat in case you miss that UNCONDITIONALLY! Like I love you but you obviously need to pick up a dictionary and read.
So right now I’m letting them be without me because the adults in certain situations are using them and making them lie and stress SO I stepped back and am waiting out the inevitable to come to light because I know I raised them up to be okay and love themselves. We’re never apart in our bonds and our hearts.
OH yeah that country song you used to hate about loving even though the man wasn’t there…

Judgment is ignorance and self hatred; plus a complete lack of empathy, compassion, or humanity.

Being broke humbles me.
I could take money and have it all. I could find me a sugar daddy in an instant but I have integrity and grit and I was raised too proud to beg fo shit!
So I stand with less and my head tall, taking no hand outs and enjoy life living small.

I love you Daddy but be ashamed of your own damn hypocrisy and caring what people who don’t think of you think and in all reality you dislike and have something snide to say about anyway.
Grow up old man
Rejoin me being simply happy spreading love and loving the me my Daddy used to be a huge part of making and supporting.

Until then dueces.
Truth hurts, be humble, eat crow and grow with me!
You’re the only one missing out.
I love you anyway and always but misery is company I’m not keeping.
I’ll miss you while you simmer down, life’s too short and too long to be mad.
I hope that you’re well until we meet again, please don’t make that wait til Heaven.

PS I started this at 2:24 wrote down, edited, added and am about to publish it at 2:40
Just want you to know you aren’t taking up much of my thoughts or my time
I don’t do negativity, I aint mad at ya I’m sad for ya.

Sorry 2:43 my computer froze finding the image for this shit.
Love you father, YOUR DAUGHTER.

music > drugs

the ORIGINAL female role models

There was once a princess so ravaged by guilt at the poverty and inequality of her people that she became Sultan and married a “streetrat” and took back what it meant to be a leader for her people.

The vastness of the ocean could not contain a beautiful mermaid princesses desire to gain new perspectives to the enormity of giving up her amazing life and natural talent to embrace sea legs and find what the other side of life was all about.

Rather than complain and cause her father any extra strain this beautiful maiden made friends with the most unlikely of creatures and sang her troubles away until her true beauty was seen and brought to light.

Who needs to be the most beautiful of all when you’ve got seven little men protecting your true beauty even while you sleep all with their set of quirks that this royal lady made sure to show them the beauty in.

Lost in the fantasies in her head and all the books she reread the bell of the ball not only tamed a beast but gave purpose to an entire household caught in a curse and reminded us all each of us is important even the smallest piece.

And the new days role models work it ladies!!!

All I did was add his photos of the 43 orphans he takes care of to my social media

I’m sorry Daddy I’m awesome